The inspiration for this blog (and the title!) has come from the seminar on Feedback, the prereading and my subsequent reflection on the topic…
There was certainly a lot of food for thought in the material and group discussion that followed, but one point that kept on coming to the surface for me was this notion around perfection. In the recording ‘Preforming to an invisible audience’, Hattie Walker touches on this subject very directly in both her tips and summary at the end:
- “Mistakes can make you real and approachable”
- “Don’t’ over think mistakes… perfection can be a barrier to communication”
- “Don’t try to make it perfect, there is enough that is false about performing online”
Points of which are all true and deep down we know all of this, but it doesn’t stop the pressure of perfection manifesting in some form through our work as tutors. It made me question – why are we so fearful of making mistakes, when we know perfection itself can actually form a barrier?
But where does this pressure for perfection really come from? Reflecting on my personal experience since joining UAL just over a year ago, I can certainly say the pressure for perfection that I sometime feel doesn’t come from my fellow tutors on the course, they are extremely supportive and encouraging. It doesn’t even really come from the students, even though they do sometimes look to you as being the ‘all knowing’!
So really this ideal of perfection come from within? Somewhere, somehow, we put this unrealistic pressure on ourselves that we should know every single thing within our specialism and deliver it to-a-tee. I see it as less as a fault in human nature and more in a desire to be good at what you do – there is nothing wrong with that surely? However, the significance of this topic for me has been in openly acknowledging how crippling personal pressures of perfection can be; and since this seminar I’ve be more conscious of my own inner-critique and have started to go a bit easier on myself when things haven’t gone exactly to plan – and more recently, laugh about them afterwards, instead of agonising about them for days on end! This turned into being a bit of a therapy week!
I do feel like the sudden switch to teaching online has exacerbated this inner pressure of perfection – not just for tutors, but I have seen it starting to manifest slowly within my students too. Even in more casual and informal tutorials and forums, students often come along with quite polished digital pages of work and go on to ‘present’ them, rather than just share their work-in-progress. The time and effort they have put into doing this, has on occasion led to some resistance to change or develop concepts or details – maybe they feel too much has been ‘invested’ already to change?
As an endnote to this blog, we really need to give ourselves permission to be human and make mistakes; those little imperfections can actually help us connect better with our students and ultimately lead to better student learning experience.